Backstreet Boys in 2014.

So when they started singing  ‘the one’ . then something dawned on me ‘what the f*k I going on what the f*k  is going on? Is this real is this happening. Is this real. This cant be real. This wasn’t supposed to happen.  To me. I had made my peace with the fact they could never come out of my tv set. I lived to far away. So . this was never to happen. i. I am not in that place now. They did sing ‘all I have to give’ and I recalled a little bit of those days. But when they started singing ‘the one’ something in my brain snapped. I was on front row. brian kevin and howie are right in front of me. Im so old now. And then I was taking pictures. After something had snapped I started getting in that place again where I was in 1998. So excited and unfulfilled. Or maybe wanting so  much.  I was in front rows when Madonna was there doing vogue but I didn’t feel that thing snap in me.

Wait wait. I didn’t know about the afterpaty. When they asked me for 80 dollars to pay  I was like that’s it? I could’ve paid 8000. Hehe. Howie d is rite in front of me and snapping pictures with my fone. Oh my God. What is going on. I didn’t know about this concert till may19,2014. U know.  2 days ago I didn’t know anything. I was having a fight with this guy because theres some really hot ginger guy in my music video and I have deal with a lot of jealousy. I had no idea on may20,2014 the table were gonna flinging turn. Oh God I don’t want to write this but I need to come to terms with what has just happened. Brian shaking my hand at the end was like walker being resurrected and being shown to me in the flesh again. These were guys supposed to stay in my small tv set and stay there , they were not supposed to come out. And I had accepted that. This wasn’t meant to happen and then 16 years later brian jumps out on the stage and shakes my hand. Oh my God no no this wasn’t supposed to happen.  I don’t know. Just didn’t feel late. It was like yesterday when I would stay up for “all I have to give” so I can tape it on vhs. And play it on loop. Its 1998.another thing struck me that how I knew all the songs. Like all the old ones.

Kevin looks funny dancing in tht blue suit.

This wasn’t meant to ever happen. These guys were just in my tv set that I could never meet them. I couldn’t cry I was just so like what the hell is going on. There so much emotion and emotional attachment. I never felt this way when Madonna was there, doing vogue right in front of me. Oh boy.

When I came home I was still so out of place tht wat had just happened. And I started going thru their tour lists. I was so dumb I should’ve going to the black and blue concert in 2001. Tht man. I regret tht so much now. Because I was living in Vancouver at that time. I had just moved. But I knew it could never be real. Never. Ya I used be lissening to “shape of my heart” all night long on my disc man I was so dumb to the face tht even then they were just a 15 minute drive away performing tht rogers arena. I just thought it could never be real. So see them in the flesh J I still wonder to this day why was the music video all blue in colour? haha

My favourite song is “darlin” it still is. Out of all the songs. The wretched damn tour of 1996 still haunts me. I discovered that in 1998 when mtv would play it. And I would record that on vcr and play it on loop the entire day. The most haunting  tour.  Because I was 14 and new to life. So its that particular haunting concert. It was some Orlando tour? I used to think. But no.  this is the haunting concert. That even haunts me today. I wanna use the word ‘haunt’ because it means something else.  Its when they sang ‘darlin’ that. Anyway. So it turns out that particular concert took place in frankurt , not orlanda.  But it had something to do with Orlando but I cant place it.

Well wat else did I feel on may,20,2014. I felt a little anger of Eminem reignited ..why did he make fun of these guys back in the 90s. its equally so so funny. So hilarious. Those 90s politics.  I wanna write more. But I think this is it. But I am now coming back to normal a bit. Yes. I must go back to the gym now.

Bye.